by supertwigs | Mar 21, 2011 | Goals, Parenting, Writing |
Night Mind
I’ve been reading a fair amount of non-fiction this year, from authors who have somehow made meaningful changes in their lives, or challenge you to make some yourself. Alright, you might call them “self-help” books. I’ll admit that some of them have been. And some have been good. Even really good. So there.
Anyways, one theme I keep finding is that of using your time wisely. Consensus seems to be that the wee hours of the morning, or at least the hours before noon, are the most productive. There are tons of books that recommend getting your best work done early. And I see the wisdom in that. I have used the technique myself at work. Trying to get something meaningful done at the end of a long work day is twice as hard as at the beginning.
Since becoming a mom, however, I have found that my mornings are, oh, fairly consumed. (In have, somehow, found a little 20-minute window to go running, however. Twice. Then I came down with this laryngitis/cold thing, and have been recouperating. A slow start to my march to 5K. On the bright side, I did find my running shoes! So, I’m not a total chump after all. For those of you wanting an update).
I don’t know about the rest of you parents out there, but I would hazard a guess that most of your kids rise before you do. Usually before you are willing to. And once they rise, they are on. It’s non-stop action around here from around 6am. So, at least someone in this house knows how to get things done in the morning. Unfortunately, that leaves me little time for productivity on the personal front. My solution is the only logical one. Use the evenings. Become productive after the kids go to bed.
Sometimes, I am feeling completely beat by this time, and my mind feels mushy. Like my morning oatmeal. But, somehow, just knowing I’ll get those few hours of “me” time gets me through it. When I was writing my novel (said so matter-of-factly), I used the hours from 8pm-10pm almost exclusively. And, something I found: I liked it. I really liked it.
And here’s why: at night, anything seems possible. The farther into the night you go, the more your mind seems to wander. Go there. Far away from the reasonable. The practical daytime mind. The night mind is so much more free. Less edited. Less inhibited. Have you ever had a great idea in the middle of the night? Upon waking it probably seemed insane to you. Far-fetched. Ridiculous. But, under the cover of night, you probably imagined it solving all of your problems. Forever.
At least that’s the way it works for me. So, I like writing at night. Because the darkness blocks my inner editor. It allows my mind to wander free. Explore the territory between waking and sleeping. And funny things happen then. My story opens up in a new way. Or, I find that I have written 2000 words without blinking. Or I come up with that brilliant plot twist I was looking for.
I’m curious. How does it work for you? Do you think you’d be a better writer if you wrote at night? Or would I be a better one if I wrote in the morning? And what of life’s other challenges?
Maybe I am fooling myself. But, I kind of like my nighttime mind. At least for fiction. Maybe my daytime mind should be reserved for non-fiction. Now there’s a thought…
by supertwigs | Mar 12, 2011 | Education, Parenting, Photography |
This was our favourite playground. It used to back onto a forest.
Soon it will be a school. Do children not like the trees?
I am deeply saddened.
I live here in a townhouse. My lot must have looked like this, too.
I am deeply saddened.
What do I say to my son?
by supertwigs | Mar 8, 2011 | Parenting, Photography |
Because I forgot to upload my photo from last week for the MCP Project 52 weekly photo challenge, here are a smattering of my favourites.
All of my favourite little guy.
For fans new and old.
This is Dylan.
by supertwigs | Feb 26, 2011 | Books, Creativity, Education, Parenting |
I don’t know when it started, but somewhere along the line I got it into my head to think about homeschooling my children. Actually, I do know when it started, although not really.
I read a book. That’s how most things seem to start for me.
I read a book. Gordon Neufeld and Gabor Mate’s Hold on to Your Kids. The thesis of this book is that kids are becoming too peer-oriented, and this is causing parents to lose their ability to parent their children. Basically, the thought is that kids can only have one primary attachment, whether it be parents, or friends. Hey all, realized I said this poorly. Let’s try this again. Kids’ primary attachment should be their parents, or another caring, loving adult, or adults. Ideally, this would be a larger community of both adults and children. However, if kids’ attachment to friends (or anyone else for that matter) is in conflict with that of their parents’, trouble can be brewing. Because they will have to choose. And if parents and their kids aren’t securely attached (due, largely to the structures of today’s society), kids will choose friends. And friends, as much as they might care about your children, are not a good replacement for a wise and caring parent. A parent who always has their best interests in mind. That is a very short summary, and, of course, I am missing key elements. Still, it got me thinking.
Neufeld and Mate suggest that homeschooling can be a good option, by helping to keep the parent-child attachment functioning. It’s all about relationship.
Anyways, all of this got me thinking of the real possibility of homeschooling. Would it be a good option for us? Because I have always been drawn to the concept. It just sounds like so much fun. And it seems to make so much sense.
Lately, it has seemed a bit strange to me that we send kids to school for the majority of their day, away from their families, to be raised by someone else (I know there are a million reasons why we do this, and many, many, many are valid). Still, it also seems strange that we group them in like ages, and they grow up thinking this is a normal part of life, to be with peers of their same age – exactly. To me, it seems plain weird. When you think about it. Is there any other time in a person’s life that this happens? And is it really to everyone’s benefit? Specifically, the child’s?
I don’t have the answer to those questions. Maybe you do?
Then, after reading Hold on to Your Kids, I read The Element, by Sir Ken Robinson. Another proponent of re-examining our educational system. Again, he doesn’t advocate homeschooling, per se, but suggests it could be a good option. Because it allows parents to tailor learning to a child’s distinct learning style, and strengths. More food for thought.
Finally, I happened upon unschooling. And I think I am in love.
The philosophy that governs unschooling is that kids (people in general) are naturally inclined to learn. Encouraged in this direction, and left to their own devices, they will want to discover their world. They will want to know things. They will want to learn. This educational philosophy, if I’m understanding it correctly, says that parents can best support their kids by allowing them to be guided, in large part, by their own whims and passions. Learning co-inciding with interest and ability. Unschoolers learn at their own pace, and aren’t beholden to any particular curriculum. They are above all, lifelong learners.
This is where I get chills. Good ones. For many reasons, one of which is the fact that I, too, love learning. The process of learning just about anything excites me. Another is that I am a librarian (or maybe this is why I am a librarian). Librarians are huge proponents of lifelong learning. This, I would argue, is what we are all about. And we are also great researchers.
So, my imagined unschooling life has me helping my children discover their true potential, following their passions, and learning through life experiences. An education outside the box. I imagine us discovering things together along the way. Exploring the world with eagerness and curiousity. Travelling? Reading? Researching? Experimenting? You bet.
And what better person than a research expert – an expert in lifelong learning – to provide this kind of education for my children. So, tell me, am I being idealistic? Is this to good to be true. Or is it truly an ideal way to learn. Because it kind of seems that way to me.
(My kids are currently 3 years and 9 months, so this is research for me at this point).
by supertwigs | Feb 24, 2011 | Books, Parenting |
In my other life, I am a children’s librarian. I deliver storytimes to preschoolers, and parents with babies. It can be extremely fun, and extremely exhausting. I got to thinking about storytime today, because of a friend’s facebook post. Her son, apparently, was too noisy and got kicked out today. I commiserated, on both fronts.
First, as a librarian, that pesky kid that is always bouncing around and won’t sit still to listen to my melodic voice drives me crazy! You know the kid, because if you’ve ever been to storytime you’ve all seen him. What kind of parents does he have anyways?
Second, as a parent. Because, I am the parent of said child. His name is Dylan, and sitting is not his favourite game. Jumping up and helping, he likes. Talking very loud, he likes. Listening, hmm, not so much.
I really don’t think I am a bad parent. In fact, I kind of like my kid’s enthusiasm. Scratch that, I love it. Not that I encourage anarchistic behaviour. Certainly not in storytime (it is rather embarrassing when the librarian’s kid is the one causing all the trouble). But, speaking from experience here, that is just the way some kids are at this particular point in their development (or, period). Yes, you can work with them, yes, you can try to force them to listen. Yes, they can be kicked out. But, that’s not going to make them want to come back to storytime. Or the library. And it’s probably not going to make them want to read.
So, I say, hard as it is, let them stay. Unless they want to go. In which case, consider their request. Storytime should be about discovering the love of storytelling, songs and books. Negative feelings don’t have a place there. And parents who feel shamed because of their kids behaviour, probably won’t bring them back. To storytime, or the library. Which is a huge loss. So, if we could all be a bit more forgiving and a bit more accepting, I for one, would really appreciate it.
By the way, my son loves storytime and has never been kicked out (although there have been times…). But, we have received looks. You know the ones. And I would like to say, people, keep your looks to yourself! Because your son (or daughter) doesn’t hold a candle to mine!
Okay, let’s try that again. Because we’ve all been there. Or we will be, if we haven’t yet. And, even if your child is an angel, try to revel in the villain (or the Dylan) just a little bit. Because once you get him singing along, well, that’s when he truly shines!
by supertwigs | Feb 21, 2011 | Goals, Parenting, Writing |
20,000 words and counting. I’ve reached a milestone of sorts in my novel-writing challenge (30 days, 50,000 words). And it is getting easier again. I feel like I’m over a hump. Here’s hoping, anyways, that the rest of the novel will just come pouring out of me a mile a minute and I’ll reach my deadline. Which, if anyone is keeping track, is fast approaching. And I’m only two fifths of the way there.
So far, it has been a funny journey. On the whole, it has been so much easier than I could have imagined. I have had two nights that felt like pulling teeth, but so many others that felt good. The time flying by, and the words almost writing themselves. I’d like to imagine I’m in my Element (check out my Daily Reading). We’ll see.
It feels like I’m starting to wax poetic here (watch out, I’ll be writing high school poetry again soon). Actually, when I finish spewing out this novel, which seems like a good way to describe the process of speed noveling, I think I will try writing poetry again. Although, I’m not promising to publish any here (I’m sure you’re thanking your lucky stars right now).
The hardest part so far has been writing dialogue. I actually started off with my character nicely isolated, hardly encountering another human being, and I thought, this could be my I Robot. I could just give this woman a dog (or, in her case, a baby) to talk to. And no one else. But, then, she’d still have to talk to the baby. If she was to be any kind of mother. And I’d still have to write dialogue.
Talking to your baby, by the way, is one of the best things you can do for them. I tend to go with the “Sportscaster Mom” approach, and narrate anything and everything that is happening around them. At least I did with my first child. The second one, dear Sylvie, mostly gets to listen to her brother talk. I wonder what kind of speech patterns she will develop. Of course, her brother is a bit of a motormouth, so it might work out alright for both of them.
So, dialogue. Ugh. It turns out, in my novel, I just keep introducing characters. All needing their own special voice. Their own unique sound and manner. I found this all extremely tedious, especially when factoring in punctuation: quote, comma, end quote, period, repeat. And don’t forget the words strung in there somewhere. I have read that dialogue is one of the hardest parts of writing, and I believe it.
So, for those of you who want to try something like this at home, here are a few scenarios you might consider:
- Your character is deaf. Therefore, can’t speak to anyone. At least not aloud. But, I think you’d still have to write the words they sign in ASL. So how about…
- Your character is the last person on earth. Period. But, as in I, Robot, there might still be animals. So…
- Your character is the last person on earth. And there are no animals. Or rocks, or trees, or anything else they might want to talk to. That brings us to…
- Your character has taken a vow of silence. And you are writing in the first person. There. That should about do it. It should also be a very speedy novel to write. As long as you don’t give them a pen.
Anyways, around word 18,000 or so, I realized something. I was hardly even thinking about the dialogue. It was kind of just coming. Like those pesky characters were thinking and talking those words all by their little old selves. Okay, it has only been 2000 words since then. By tomorrow night, I might be stuck again. Cringing at every line. Shaking my head at my pathetic attempts to master the English language and the nuances of speech. But, for now, I’d like to think I’ve made a breakthrough.
And, although I still have a long way to go, I have much to be thankful for. I’m 20,000 words in. I have written at least 1600 words every night since I confessed my project here, on my blog. And I am seriously enjoying the process. I mean, really enjoying it. I love it (most days, most of the time). So, for now, I’m going to bed on a high.
She pats herself on the back, and says, “Goodnight already. Geesh.” (I would never say that).
P.S. My spellchecker says “noveling” is not a word. I beg to differ.
Hi! I’m Kelly Woods, writer, mother & librarian. I write about beauty, creativity, green living and lifestyle design to help others live a life of inspiration, too.